Up until recently, I couldn't tolerate much alcohol, but I could at least tolerate a little. A nice tall glass of a well-made IPA on a Friday and/or Saturday night made me more than happy. I would usually watch a movie whilst sipping. It was something I looked forward to. A slight escape from the Lyme hell I was in.
But now, for whatever friggin' reason, I can't tolerate any alcohol, literally not even a few sips (trust me, I methodically tested my limits). At first, I feel like I have bad heartburn, but then the burning travels down into my stomach and it seriously feels like I have fucking lava down there. Sleeping is not pleasant and it usually takes a good 24 hours or so for my stomach to return to a state of relative normalcy.
What happened?!
Well, the trouble all started on July 5th. As I described in my previous blog, I woke up with a tremendous stomach ache and my gut was messed up for at least a few days. I'm not really sure why this happened but I think it was Apple Cider Vinegar that triggered the downward spiral. As I described in my blog, I ate some chicken that was marinated in Italian dressing with ACV as its second ingredient.
Eventually, my stomach pain went away but it seems to come back when I eat spicy food--usually from Chipotle, my favorite place to eat--and, yes, also when I drink a beer or any kind of alcohol for that matter.
Seriously, Chipotle and alcohol were the last two things keeping me happy but now they're the only two things my stomach won't tolerate whatsoever! What is this all about? Is God trying to test the limits of my sanity by literally taking everything away from me that gives me joy? One or two nice cold beers (a week!) was all that was keeping me sane through this whole Lyme saga but now it's unavailable to me! Agh!
I've searched my mind for alternative ways to escape reality. I thought maybe I should try smoking weed but I'm pretty sure that would be disastrous. I rarely had a good experience with the devil's lettuce in the past and my Lyme-damaged body would surely find a way to have an adverse reaction to it.
So, for now, I'm forced to suck it all up and deal with reality without any numbing agents. This hasn't been easy so far. I've noticed that my mood has been all over the place lately. I've been very agitated and depressed and back to agitated again. My body and mind know that there's no escaping the hell, that I can't even look forward to a relaxing beer on a Friday or Saturday evening. And knowing this makes me extremely unhappy.
Thinking back on everything, I still can't help but wonder why I have this sudden onset in alcohol intolerance. I mean, is a little Apple Cider Vinegar really to blame? Did that trigger some sort of toxic die-off reaction that made my stomach more sensitive? Or is something else going on?
I have some theories about this.
Theory A: I have pancreas problems, mainly pancreatitis, which is inflammation of the pancreas. I don't like this theory because I don't know why I would have pancreatitis, unless Lyme or the stress of Lyme somehow triggered it. I've hardly drank any alcohol in a year. Plus, the symptoms don't quite match up. I don't really have "pain"; I would call it more like discomfort when I eat the aforementioned beer or spicy foods. With pancreatitis, you have pain in your upper left abdomen that shoots to your back or chest, I guess. I don't have that, nor do I have any vomiting or fever, which are two other symptoms.
Theory B: I have gastritis. Gastritis is inflammation, irritation or erosion of the stomach lining. This can be triggered by excessive alcohol consumption, drugs (such as aspirin and anti-inflammatories) stress and infections, both viral and bacterial and, yes, parasitic! Symptoms include a burning, knawing feeling in the stomach. Indigestion. Abdominal pain. This sounds a lot like what I have, but why would I suddenly have this? Again, I hardly drank any alcohol in more than a year. I took no anti-inflammatories. Maybe stress could have done it. Or maybe the parasites (i.e. candida or Babesia etc.) got aggravated by the ACV and caused an infection.
Theory C: I have an MCAS issue, and I'm not talking about the standardized tests you take in high school. MCAS stands for Mast Cell Activation Syndrome, which is a disorder that can commonly happen after having Lyme. According to an article I found, MCAS can be described as the following:
"An immunological condition in which mast cells inappropriately and excessively release chemical mediators....In other words, Mast cells are cells that generate an allergic reaction. Allergens binding to these cells cause the release of histamine, which causes immediate, and sometimes very intense, hypersensitivity reactions." (Source)
Lamens terms: MCAS is when your body has an inappropriate or excessive response to allergens or stress. It's an auto-immune-like condition where the body essentially starts attacking itself. Chronic inflammation in various parts of the body is the end result.
Of course, MCAS symptoms overlap with Lyme symptoms so it's hard to tell whether my problem is MCAS or post-Lyme-related complications. Testing for MCAS can be done, but for me, it's a little too early to seek tests. It's ragweed season after all, so maybe the ragweed is making me more allergy-sensitive than usual, which leads me to...
Theory D: I'm just more allergy sensitive than normal. But why? Because of MCAS? Or for other reasons. It's hard to tell right now.
Again, the complexity of Lyme never ceases to amaze me. I mean, when will this Lyme rabbit hole end? I've been falling and falling and falling...but the hole must end at some point, right? Or is Lyme infinitely complex, an endless web that intertwines upon itself forever and ever? Hopefully, there is an end to all this. Though epic in nature, this seemingly never-ending war can hopefully still be won. I want to emerge from the rabbit hole and leave Lyme and all its side effects behind me for good.
Also, I want to drink again. Just a little. Because, honestly, life without alcohol (just a little) is extremely dull and boring. I know that's the talk of an alcoholic and, if I'm an alcoholic, so be it, but, c'mon, God, just please let me have a couple beers a week. Please! Also, end starvation and bring world peace. Thank you.
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