My New Pet Rock

It was about a month ago. I was doing some cleaning in my room. Organizing. Tidying. Neatening.

There was a Ziploc baggy full of quarters and silver dollars on my bureau. I had been using these coins for subway fare when going in and out of Boston for my basal cell surgeries (read about these HERE). What I didn't know was that the Ziploc part of this bag was not locked. It was open and as I picked up the baggy, the coins spilled out, many of which fell onto my floor and then rolled under my dresser.

"Damn my luck!" I cursed to the universe. It was a negative reaction to what would turn out to be a positive event. I just didn't know that yet.

I cursed the heavens because my joints were still bothering me (read about this problem HERE) and bending down to the floor, crouching, kneeling...would be less than easy. In fact, I needed help to do this. So, yes, I chose to emasculate myself and I called in my mom for assistance. 

"Hey, MA! Do you mind helping me for a sec?"

My mom came in my room, crouched down to the floor and retrieved the lost coins from under the dresser. But that's not all she retrieved...

"What's this?"

She came up from the floor and held what-looked-like an orange pebble in her hand. At first, I was confused as to what it was but then I remembered. "Oh, it's my citrine!" I exclaimed. Well, I didn't quite exclaim. I was excited but not so excited as to warrant an exclamation point. It was more like, "Oh, my citrine. This is great."

Said citrine was one rock of about four or five that I had purchased at a New Age store several years ago, maybe five or six years ago, maybe even more. I was told that these rocks possessed magical energies that would attract abundance, "abundance" being a less greedy-sounding term for money. 

I wouldn't say I was greedy for money at the time -- I mean, I was poor, don't get me wrong, and some money would've been nice -- but I was more concerned about "making a deal" with a screenplay or a novel or what-have-you. I thought the rock could attract a "career opportunity" of some sort. Get one of my screenplays produced. Get one of my novels published. Or at least attract interest in me from people in higher places.

My pet rock in my palm.

The problem with the citrine, however, was that the rocks were very small, a little larger than a pebble, so I kept leaving them in my pockets all the time and they would either go through the washer or just end up falling out onto the ground or floor. I lost probably three or four of them over the course of a year and, soon, I thought I had lost them all. But I guess one must have fallen and ended up under my dresser.

So now, for the past three or four weeks, I've been carrying around this one small citrine pebble in my pocket. It's like my new pet rock and, I must say...

I've felt a difference.

No, I have not attracted a lot of wealth. And I haven't made any kind of deal regarding a screenplay or book (though I did have an unexpected phone call with a bigwig Vice President at HBO; it went nowhere but it was cool). I have, however, noticed a change. Let me try and explain:

As I've mentioned in previous blogs (read LYME BRAIN and CLEARING LYME), I truly believe that a negative experience like having Lyme can be so negative that it can wreak total havoc, not just on your physical body as we all know, but on your energetic body as well. I believe Lyme has an energetic element to it and it purposely knocks you out of energetic balance so that it's more difficult for your body to fight the damn Lyme off. The more out-of-balance your energy is, the more the Lyme can thrive, just like it's some sort of negative entity that feeds off bad energy.

I believe that it's because of this disturbance in my energetic body ('aura' might be a better term) that I've been having more of a difficult time with...well, life in general. Take my "eyeglasses saga" for example (read about this HERE). Things just kept going wrong, one thing after another, almost on an absurd level. That whole experience was a complete shitshow. 

Or, take my more recent "battle of wounded knee" saga as another example (read about this HERE). The story started with my knee in pain, and then, after an MRI, my ankle flared up with pain, and then my ankle pain made me so frustrated that I punched a mattress a few times and my wrist and arm had pain. 

Both the knee saga and the eyeglasses saga were downward spirals of bad luck. And I think this is all because the energy of Lyme threw my energetic body (again, 'aura', is another word to use) off balance and out of harmony with nature, universe and, not to get too New Agey on you, but spirit, too! Or, if the term "spirit" DOES sound too New Agey for you, let's just say 'God'. It throws you out of harmony with God!

Not following me? Ok, let's use a radio station as an analogy. When you're good and healthy, free of something like Lyme, your body is like a radio frequency properly tuned into a station broadcasting from God and it's coming in loud and clear. But then Lyme comes around and acts as some sort of negative EMF field that messes with the tuning of your radio dial. Instead of the station coming in loud and clear, it breaks up, the sound goes in and out, and there is lots and lots of static.

Anyway, the point off all this is that I've noticed that, ever since I started carrying around the citrine, I've felt more properly "tuned in". A signal from God is coming in loud and fucking clear. I feel more positive, there is more joy and, frankly, things have seemed a little more magical. Instead of feeling like there are a bunch of little devils around that are poking and prodding me with their annoying pitchforks (Lyme personified), I feel like there are a bunch of divine angels with me who are now better able to communicate and guide me because all the negative static is out of the way.

I won't go into details but, for the past few weeks, there have been many "magical" events -- serendipities, synchronicities, divine guidance and perhaps intervention -- that confirmed I was under the influence of a more divine force instead of a bunch of negative jerks with pitchforks. This was a familiar feeling but it made me realize that I hadn't felt this feeling much since before the Lyme. It was nice to have it back again. (Read my very short story South Station Serendipity for an example of a magical moment I experienced.)

With this new shift in energy, from negative to positive, I've noticed that my physical body has felt better as well. My joints still give me problems but there have been more days where nothing has been bothering me too intensely and I've been able to walk all the more. Could better energy manifest better physical function? I was always told this was the case but never really knew it was true until now. There definitely seems to be a connection.

Now, I know what you're saying right now: "All these great things happened, just because you started carrying a little pebble around in your pocket?" I know, I thought it was a little far-fetched as well. But then I started doing some Googling to learn more about the rock and that's when it all made better sense.

As it turns out, citrine isn't just the rock of abundance and cashflow. Apparently, there is MUCH more magic to this powerful stone:

According to one article I found, citrine is basically THE stone of positivity and joy. It also helps with mental clarity, the creative process and boosts sexual energy (ooh la la...oh bee-have). Most interestingly, it links to and clears blockages in the "root chakra", to "bring the physical energy up to the emotional, and raise all energy to a higher plane." This could explain why I feel better both emotionally and physically. Clearing this "root chakra" helps improve "energetic circulation" in the body, thus making the physical systems work better as well. (source)

According to another article I found, citrine is a great stone that promotes healing, initiates new beginnings, helps smooth over relationship problems, protects one from spite and jealousy, clears negative energies (and gha-gha-ghosts!) from a living space, helps with chronic fatigue, balances the thyroid, relieves allergies, boosts self-esteem, helps overcome depression, gives you strength to fight infections, provides you the ability to use nutrients you consume, helps boost confidence and security, protects the aura (i.e. the energy field) and helps get relationships off to the right start by making communication flow well. (source)

Wow, that's a lot, right? What a powerful stone.

And don't worry! Citrine is one of only two stones out there that you don't need to ever cleanse. I'm sure you were worried about that, right? Because some stones out there have great energetic powers but if you don't cleanse them they can store negative energy and end up doing more harm than good. I know this from personal experience. I made the mistake of not cleansing some black tourmaline rocks I purchased a few years back to help dispel negative energy. They're great rocks, by the way, if used properly, but I didn't cleanse them ever, so they ended up holding onto all the negative energy and may have ultimately done more harm than good. Oops.

So who knows? Whether you have Lyme or are just trying to feel better on both an energetic and physical level, maybe a little citrine might be something you're looking for. It sounds a little crazy (or perhaps a lot crazy), but a pet rock could make a big difference for you. I really think it has made -- and will continue to make -- a significant difference for me.

Sources:

https://www.energymuse.com/citrine-meaning

https://www.crystalvaults.com/crystal-encyclopedia/citrine